Charles Periwinkle by Mac Huxley
Charles Periwinkle by Maccabee Huxley
Charles Periwinkle was a man who wore a monocle and sported a long coat, made from some of the finest tiger skin in all the world. The word around town was that the tiger skin came directly from Tony The Tiger himself and after Charles put on the coat he exclaimed, "It looks GREEEEAAATTTT!"
Charles Periwinkle owned a shoe factory, all of his employees were children. He fed them an endless supply of Frosted Flakes so that they were constantly on sugar highs, therefore the children had the energy to sustain the long work hours.
Additionally, Charles recognized the power of music, so he taught the children all sorts of fun songs to sing together like:
Work, work, work, work, keep on making shooooeees. Work, work, work, work, the world needs moooooreee shoooooesss.
It was a grand ole time one would say. Eating Frosted Flakes, singing fun songs and getting to hang out with all of your pals. Oh yes this shoe factory was one place workers were dying to get into. Parents were filling out applications and sending the factory resumes for their children as soon as their child completed pre-school.
One day Charles got a call from a business partner across the sea named Thomas the Otter. Thomas the Otter said, "I have a batch of abandoned toddlers that are willing to work for just one bowl of Frosted Flakes and a meager 10 cents a week."
Charles was elated when he heard of this fantastic news. After doing some calculations he realized the immense reduction in labor costs would lead to a staggering increase in profit and therefore Charles would please the Board of Directors and receive a hefty bonus for his great work in saving the company vasts amounts of money.
The following day Charles Periwinkle fired all of his children and moved his factory overseas to employ these new fresh faced abandoned toddlers.
Charles taught them new fun songs like:
Don't stop....woooorkkkkinng...I said, Don't Stop...Wooooorrrkkkkkking. OHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh....oohhhhh.oohhhhh!!
After increasing the annual net income for the shoe company, Charles Periwinkle was awarded a considerable bonus. He decided to use the money to finally fulfill his dream of obtaining a lion skin coat with fur trimmings. He flew to an African safari and encountered Simba, the lion from the Lion King. He drove up to him in the jeep and pulled out his rifle and shot Simba square in between his eyes, blowing his brains out! "That is for Scar!" Charles exclaimed.
He then dragged Simba's dead lifeless body to the nearest butcher, where he was then skinned and chopped up into fine pieces of delectable steak.
Charles Periwinkle flew home and when he arrived back at the factory, he strolled into his office with his new flashy lion skin coat with the fur trimmings. At lunch he enjoyed his mouthwatering, delicious slab of lion steak while happily listening to the sound of his toddler workers singing the oh so sweet words,